Just joking

Pony · **Posted:** Mon Sep 29, 2025 4:44 pm

Classic Conman from Catch me if you can .....

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/H9wrLX2XjxQ

BC · **Posted:** Tue Oct 14, 2025 6:17 am

Guess who?

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1TpeKP ... tid=wwXIfr

Seejay · **Posted:** Wed Oct 22, 2025 2:58 pm

No specific religion in mind, however..............

HenryS · **Posted:** Sun Oct 26, 2025 3:27 pm

New Ford truck ...

I bought a new imported Ford F250 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck... Go figure... it runs on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85.

I returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated.

'Nelson,' the technician said to the radio.

The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'

'Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.

Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant, 'Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, 'Beethoven ‘, 'I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, 'Beatles,' I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him... I yelled, "F...ing Idiot" Immediately the radio responded with:
"Ladies and gentlemen, an address from Anthony Albanese."

Damn, I love this truck...

Hippy Chippy · **Posted:** Thu Oct 30, 2025 7:31 pm

BC · **Posted:** Fri Jan 02, 2026 4:41 pm

At last, confirmation of Murphy's Law with a wonderful Irish explanation.

Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor, and it lands butter-side-up.

He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-side-down.
So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.

He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen. But he won't say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.
He leads Fr. Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.

"Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."

"No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy

"Oh my Lord," says Fr. Flanagan, "dropped toast never falls with the butter side up. It's a miracle. Wait... It's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop, and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc."

A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared. There is great excitement in the town, as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much-needed tourism revenue.

Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.

"It is certain that some kind of extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe. Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle. All other explanations must be ruled out.

Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared "No Miracle", because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!"

The Irish Painter

An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew, and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to Milltown in County Clare to get him to paint their likenesses.

One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at his house in a stretch limo, and asked if he would paint her in the nude. This being the first time anyone had made such a request, he was a bit perturbed, particularly when the woman told him that money was no object; moreover, she was willing to pay up to 10,000 pounds.

Not wanting to get into any marital strife, he asked her to wait while he went into the house to confer with Mary, his wife. They talked much about the Rightness and Wrongness of it. It was hard to make the decision but finally his wife agreed, on one condition.

In a few minutes he returned. "The wife says it's okay. T'would be me pleasure to paint yer portrait, missus," he said. “I’ll paint you in the nude alright, but I have to leave me socks on, so I have a place to wipe me brushes!"

And that, me friends, is why we love the Irish so.

Paddy’s Daughter

Paddy's daughter hadn't come home for over 5 years. When she finally returned, Paddy cursed her heavily.

"Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put me and your ma through?"

The girl was sobbing and replied, "Dad.. I have been selling my body, I became a prostitute."

"Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless girl! You are an evil-doer! You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family."

"OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this beautiful new fur coat, the title deed to a huge mansion with a swimming pool, plus 3 million dollars cash. For me little brother, this platinum Rolex.

And for ye Daddy, the brand new Porsche 911 sitting outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera."

Paddy replies "What was it ye said ye had become again?"

Still sobbing the daughter replies through her tears "A prostitute, Daddy!"

"Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!"

Hippy Chippy · **Posted:** Mon Feb 09, 2026 3:48 pm

HenryS · **Posted:** Thu Feb 12, 2026 1:29 pm

Confucius said there are three things that cannot be easily hidden, the Sun, the Moon, and the Truth.

Here are Two Truths and 5 Rules of Life:

SIMPLE TRUTH 1:

Lovers help each other undress before sex, however, after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story – In life, no one helps you once you’re screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2:

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, “Congrats.” But, none of them comes up to the man, touch his penis and say, “Good Job!”

Moral of the story – Hard work is rarely appreciated

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

Rule 1. Money cannot buy happiness – but it’s far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle

Rule 2. Forgive your enemy – but remember the asshole’s name.

Rule 3. If you help someone when they’re in trouble – they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.

Rule 4. Alcohol does not solve any problems – but then, neither does milk.

Rule 5. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

BONUS RULES:

Condoms do not guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband

Like sports players, all politicians should wear a uniform so that we could identify their corporate sponsors!

Also, all politicians should serve only two terms, one term in office and one term in prison.

Hippy Chippy · **Posted:** Fri Feb 13, 2026 12:53 pm

Fart smella, that :laughing3:

Confucious :mex:

fella..!

topjars · **Posted:** Fri Feb 13, 2026 6:08 pm

Hippy Chippy wrote:

:happy: Fart smella, that :laughing3:

Confucious :mex:

fella..!

Yeah the bastard even threw out travel tips...
"Man who walk through turnstyle sideways going to Bangkok" :woohoo:

Just joking

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